Being Adopted: The Lifelong Search for Self (Anchor Book)

i am adopted, and reading this book was like looking at my life. it is not just for ades., but adess should make this their almanac. This is the blood and guts of the life of an ade. We live lives that are closed, not our own,and we must live with ugly laws that are as crude as the people who wrote them. the book will let people know what we put up with, from agencys that are no more than meat factories. that sell themselves as care givers, well meaning for the care of orphans. the truth is they are out for a buck, with crooked lawyers and people with money to buy and sell babies, and then seal away their identity, hideing away like cowards behind fony laws. i grew up as an indian baby, bought and sold, by an agency(name withheld) that is out for profit. this is a must read, as you can see i am an angry ade. this book lets you know and understand our lives,and the depression and quilt we live with. read it, it is a true and factual read. i had a twin brother, the agency, well known with an incredible web site. they took my brother ,separated us for profit . told me i was born in Phoenix,and sold my brother and told him he was born in las vegas. My mother commited suicide at 43, because this agency in phx. would not tell her where we were. We did find each other, but not because of the agency. This book is full of stories about the uglyness of the buisness of selling babies,health, and issues we need to know about.i read this because i am in the process of writing my own book. but after reading this, i will have to find a new approach, he hits adoption hard, and as an adopte himself, he knows what he is talking about. My cudos go out to this auther, as an ade. who knows what he wrote is true and factual.

Every book, let alone every book on adoption, has its pitfalls. However, I believe this is one of the best adoption books out there. A lot of books are on how to adopt or about the wonders of adoption. There are few out there that I would really recommend for people interested in learning about the challenges of adoption and the real experiences and issues of Adult Adoptees--especially those inclusive of infant adoptees whom society is largely content to believe are not impacted by their adopted status.This book is not written by adoptees, but rather by two of what I would say are the most known adoption researchers and writers out there. I agree with other commenters that more adoptees should write books.Does a perfect book out there exist where no one disagrees with a line written or where every person who reads it identifies with everything in it? No. This book is no exception.This book is a brief lesson on the psychology of Life Span Development as experienced by the adopted person. It acknowledges that how an adopted person approaches each developmental task may be different than their biologically-raised peers, something many people do not realize. It acknowledges that each adoptee is different. To me, if not most importantly, it perfectly explains how a wide range of emotions experienced by adoptees and how they work out the incongruencies and loss in adoption are OK. Too often are those of us that point out loss and that not everything is wonderful all the time greeted with the "angry adoptee" label or told that our feelings and thoughts are wrong.This book suggests, perhaps not as directly as some would like, that how a non-adopted society views adoption and how adoptees ought to feel needs revision and that it's time to start listening to the adopted persons rather than telling them how to feel.

I chose this rating because of a close friend who is adopted wondering why he felt he never fit anywhere. I am hoping this book helps him. Since he hasn't finished the book and I have not had the opportunity to read it this is the highest rating I can give. The delivery was excellent, the book arrived sooner than expected.

This book is up to date, fairly unbiased, and very complete. It looks at adoption as it is happening now, with a very modern look at all of the different types of adoptions that exist today, from the closed records of old time to the many new open adoptions, and the stages that both the adoptive parents and the adoptees go through. I found it to be very helpful, and if you are a prospective adoptive parent or an adoptee, it will touch on many of the issues that are inherent to this situation. I would recommend it over "Lost & Found" by Betty Jean Lifton, which I also bought, but which in my opinion was biased, somewhat negative, and more centered on adoptions that were originated long ago.

There is some good material in this book that is worth pondering. Just don't consider it to be at all a rule that all children adopted will be engaged in a lifelong search for self anymore than a child who wasn't adopted. I think we all have this sense to some degree, but parents who have adopted tend to worry more about this. Don't worry. Read it if you think you want to, but don't by any means consider it a leading authority on how to help your child process their adoption. Remember, your parental instincts are very important!

We read this book AFTER our young adult's (happy) reunion with a birth parent . Very different perspective than prior research available at that time of pre-adoption. Written primarily for an adoptee, there was much lab researched study to enlighten an adoptive parent. The book was academic, unbiased and truthful. I highly recommend this book as early as possible to strengthen understanding and facilitate sensitivity regarding this different way of forming a family. The authors are extensively published and are still doing ongoing and interesting work in the field of adoption.

I just received the book today but in reading the first chapter and perusing the other chapters, I am immediately buying another for the adoptee in my life -- a person who is needing to make life transforming choices about the adoption. It really tells it exactly like it is. Well written.